


Vices

by GemmaNye



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Adapted for stage, Adultery, Cheating, F/M, M/M, One Shot, TW: controlling relationship mentioned, TW: minor mentions of alcohol/drug abuse, established relationships - Freeform, mcpriceley, self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-31 05:04:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21079640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemmaNye/pseuds/GemmaNye
Summary: Everybody has a vice, a single burning desire that can supersede everything if they let it. Or even if they don't.It’s Connor’s bachelor party, a final night of freedom before he indefinitely becomes Connor Blade. He has fun, a couple more drinks than he should have, and a best man who is trouble personified.





	Vices

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this as a smutty one-shot but for some reason known only to my weird brain, I adapted it for stage.  
I hope you enjoy this different format!  
(Tbh I confused myself with the whole ‘stage left, stage right’ stuff so here’s my awful rough sketch of the stage:  
https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=fc2c3edf4f&attid=0.1&permmsgid=msg-f:1647724452581304006&th=16dde4a8dbd566c6&view=att&disp=safe )

**Stage, sound and Lighting:** _ {Ext, alleyway, night. The stage is set up as a narrow alleyway, perpendicular to the audience. Graffiti covers the red brick walls although they are otherwise featureless, there is a large bin upstage. The lighting is dim and casts long shadows, magenta/purple in colour with blue undertones. There is a single streetlamp downstage-right that glows orange-yellow, although isn’t bright enough to have a considerable effect on the overall lighting. Up until the point that Connor and Kevin move upstage into the alley, faint sounds of music and drunken rowdiness can be heard in the distance, although is muted enough to almost give the effect of being underwater. After that point, there are no sound effects}_

_[Connor McKinley and Kevin Price enter stage left laughing at something Kevin has said. They are both tipsy although Kevin is noticeably more so. Connor is short/medium height with pale hair and soft features, and is wearing a navy blue suit which is slightly disheveled. He is generally theatrical/eccentric in his gestures, exaggerating them for effect. Kevin is tall and dark, with sharp features, wearing a black suit which is missing a tie, his top few buttons are undone. He is quite cynical and sarcastic in his inflection, he has a habit of making strong eye contact before speaking]_

_[Kevin pulls two cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket, places one between his lips and extends the other to Connor] _

**Connor: **_[grudgingly takes it]_ I- I really shouldn’t.

**Kevin: **Why,_ [he lifts the lighter to Connor’s lips and lights the cigarette, then efficiently lights his own] _how long has it been?

_[Connor immediately begins to cough and splutter out a cloud of smoke, and Kevin poorly conceals his laughter]_

**Connor: **Three- three years.

**Kevin: **Shit. _[he pauses to exhale smoke] _No prizes for guessing when you met your _charming _fiancé.

_[Connor fixes him with a look, his breaths are coming easier now and it’s clear that he was once a practiced smoker]_

**Connor:** Maybe..._ [he flicks the ash with a flourish]_ You realise you're not gonna live past thirty if you keep smoking like a goddamn chimney.

**Kevin:**Is that supposed to be a drawback?

**Connor:**_[chastising]_ They're really bad for you, Kevin.

_[Kevin laughs bitterly and moves upstage further into the alley, he leans heavily against the stage-left wall]_

**Connor: **What’s the joke?

**Kevin: **Nothing, just... ‘bad for you’ - I’m of half a mind to ask who you are and what you’ve done with Connor McKinley.

_[Connor hurries upstage to join Kevin, standing parallel to him against the stage-right wall with his arms crossed]_

**Connor: **_[snappily]_ Just because _I’m _not trying to smoke myself to death anymore - we’re not eighteen, Kevin.

**Kevin: ** _[goes to give a sarcastic reply]_

**Connor:**_ [cutting in, defeated] _You know what, never mind. This day has been shitty enough, I don’t want to argue with you.

**Kevin: **_[visibly restrains himself, takes a long drag on his cigarette] _Heaven forbid I’m a bad influence.

**Connor: **So what if you are?_ [smirks]_ Everyone needs a little devil on their shoulder.

**Kevin:**_ [dryly] _I can only assume that makes Steve the angel...

**Connor: **He’s not a very good one, if he is.

**Kevin:**_ [smirks and taps the ash from his cigarette] _Oh yeah?

**Connor: **Well I’m here, aren’t I? Smoking, loitering... _[he gestures to Kevin] _fraternising.

_[Kevin makes curious eye contact with him for a long moment, Connor visibly begins to squirm and fixes his jacket]_

**Kevin: **_[half-amused, direct]_ He told you not to be alone with me, didn’t he.

_[Connor doesn’t say anything, instead he stares determinedly down at his feet]_

**Kevin: **Oh, this is rich - tell the groom he can’t talk unsupervised with his own best man.

**Connor: **_[jittery, unsettled] _Steve doesn’t tell me to do anything - he just gets...

**Kevin: **_[amused] _Jealous?

**Connor: **Paranoid.

**Kevin: **_[dryly]_ So that’s how it is._ [pauses] _He doesn’t trust you, McKinley, he thinks you’re gonna fuck me the first chance you get.

**Connor: **Kevin I-

**Kevin: **_[cutting in, getting worked up] _Or should I say Blade - the wedding’s in a few days, might as well start early.

**Connor: **_[calm, quiet in contrast to Kevin] _He doesn’t control me, Kevin, if that’s what you think.

**Kevin: **Well what about this? _[he gestures between the two of them]_ The cigarettes?

**Connor: **Smoking, that’s- that’s different. It’s my only vice, for fuck’s sake.

_[Without being asked, Kevin silently takes out another cigarette and passes it to Connor, he lifts a hand to light it when it’s between his lips]_

**Connor: **_[Quietly, exhaling deeply] _Thanks.

**Kevin: **Who am I to judge - we all have our vices...

**Connor: **Even you?

**Kevin:** Even me.

**Connor: **_[laughily] _You’re about to tell me it’s hookers, aren’t you.

**Kevin: **I’ll remind you that I have a girlfriend, _[leans back against the wall, looks distractedly downstage (towards the audience) as if at they sky] _and I’m afraid it’s a bit worse than that...

**Connor:**_ [enjoying himself, he taps the ash from his cigarette] _Oh yeah? What is it, drugs? Alcohol?

_[Kevin pauses for a long moment before snapping his head round to fix Connor with an intense look which takes him off guard]_

**Kevin: **Men.

**Connor:**_ [Nervous, trying to sound nonchalant] _And uh- how exactly do you um... _indulge?_

**Kevin: **_[takes a step towards him] _Usually I just pick up some twink, fuck him in my apartment when Lola’s out.

**Connor:**_ [blinks quickly and takes a drag of his cigarette, not letting on the extent of his surprise] _Usually? How uh- usual is it?

**Kevin: **_[takes another step towards him, they are now about one foot away from eachother. His expression and tone carry an intense energy]_ I’ve been good - the last time was six months ago.

**Connor:**_ [flustered, now backed fully against the wall] _Kevin, you met Lola two years ago.

_[Kevin gently takes Connor’s cigarette and takes a long drag on it before dropping it to the floor and crushing it beneath his heel]_

**Kevin: **And?_ [he exhales slowly] _You quit smoking three years ago.

_[Kevin suddenly leans in and kisses along Connor’s upstage jaw. Connor shivers and makes no move to stop him, so Kevin gains in confidence and takes him by the waist]_

**Connor: **_[gasping]_ I should hate you.

**Kevin: **_[pulls back for a moment to look into Connor’s eyes, he’s genuinely surprised] _Why don’t you?

**Connor:**_ [minutely shakes his head, as if in disbelief]_ I don’t know...

_[Connor suddenly reached a hand up to both of Kevin’s shoulders, pushes him across to the other wall and pins him bodily against it. Kevin gasps aloud but keeps his arms around Connor’s waist]_

**Kevin:**_ [bursts out, gasping] _I want you.

**Connor:**_ [breathless] _Shut up.

_[Connor reaches up on tip-toe and kisses him enthusiastically. Kevin eagerly reciprocates and reaches a hand up to Connor’s hair. The lights fade to black.]_

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to comment and kudos if you liked it - I know that I had a load of fun writing it x

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Smoke and Mirrors](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21152735) by [Broadway-Honey (BespokeSuits)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BespokeSuits/pseuds/Broadway-Honey)


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